Making decisions in 3 steps

You finally want to shape your life according to your ideas, but can’t make strong and authentic decisions? Here are 3 tips on how it can work!

Recently, “The School of Life” posted an important text about freedom on her Instagram account. It said that freedom means learning that our decisions do not require the consent of others. The decisive factor is our willingness to disappoint, to annoy or to dumb. And that brings us to the topic: Many of us find it difficult to make self-determined and truly authentic decisions – often for the reason that we take into account the opinions, thoughts and feelings of others. But only these decisions mean real freedom for us.

Because it is so important to make your own decisions if you want to shape and lead a self-determined life, here are three steps with which you can learn and create it.

Step 1: Become aware of what you want

How can you make decisions without knowing what you really want? That’s right: not at all. Therefore, it is essential to become aware of this first of all. This isn’t always as easy as it sounds, which you probably know from your own experience. Because often unconsciously and unnoticed external factors mix into your goals and dreams, so that they are no longer your own.

So how can you tell which ones are actually your desires? First of all, it’s good to know that your intuition, heart, and gut feeling—whatever you want to trust—speak your truth, while your mind is more likely to make logical, rational, and external arguments clear to you. Most of us are used to making decisions with our minds. This is how we are educated and socially shaped. Your intuition, however, is the guide that gives you your truth regardless of all other factors.

How does she do it? About feelings and body awareness. You feel what’s right for you and what’s not. Yes, it takes some mindfulness, but you can practice that too. It’s best to take short breaks regularly on your day – five minutes are enough – to close your eyes, breathe calmly and listen to yourself. How do you feel right now? What do you feel? What are you looking for, what do you need? What would do you good now? So you practice mindful feeling and recognize your true needs, from which you can in turn derive what you want in life.

Step 2: Reflect on what’s holding you back

Even if you know exactly what you want, there can still be brakes and blockages in your life that keep you from going for it. For example, the expectations of people close to you or old, deep-seated beliefs and belief patterns that make you believe you are not allowed to do this or that. You may also find it difficult to make that one decision because it would mean disappointing, hurting, or burdening other people.

Whatever it is that is holding you back – find out. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings that come with the decision. Ask yourself: What are the consequences of the decision I’m trying to avoid? Why do I want to avoid them? What scares me about that? Who else do I want to please? Whose opinions, thoughts and feelings do you include that don’t really matter?

As you may know, realization is always the first step to change. That’s why it’s so important that you become aware of the brakes or brake ends. Only if you know them, you can eliminate them step by step from your decision-making process. And at this point already make the first, powerful decision: From now on, to make your own, authentic decisions, without any others.

Step 3: Come into your power and decide

The final step towards authentic decisions is that you come into your power and are worth it to yourself to decide for yourself – according to your intuition, according to your needs and your truth.

How do you do that? There are many methods and exercises. You can practice guided meditations

in which you recognize your self-worth and get to know your needs. You can repeat positive and motivating phrases every day that strengthen you. Or you can use journaling sessions to practice gratefully

.to perceive the fullness in your life and establish positive thoughts about yourself. Whatever it is that strengthens you in your being and makes you connect with your intuition – make it your priority and incorporate it regularly into your everyday life!

Because: If you are completely with yourself and in your power, it will be harder for you not to make decisions according to your truth than to actually finally do it. All of these steps bring you closer to yourself to perceive and follow your truth—and making authentic choices are an important part of that.

The Guest Author

Guest author Leonie has been writing stories since she could write. She followed this passion, studied journalism and now rages in the wide fields of freelance journalism. There she collects stories about body positivity, self-love, feminism, personality development and the small, interpersonal phenomena. You can read more about her on her website www.leoniemachbert.de .

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